Ngee Ann Poly - Business Studies.
after reading the previous post. i just feel that it's time to share my thots as well..
the truth is that this is not the course that i wanted. my third choice. currently in same course as Siek Mee. yet we take different modules. we exchange modules each sem ( meaning this coming sem i will be taking the modules she taken last sem. and vice versa.)
people says that JC is stressful and poly is a bliss. i totally disagree. perhaps. it's the attitude towards academic and also the courses you choose. Yes. i admit that for JC there is no break. study hard for 2 full yrs w/o rest. i agree that you guys are totally dried up! but den. i wud say that we are also stressful. but den. we have long break in between the semesters. at least you guys study for the long term. we all. projects like mountains. once you choose the wrong members. one word. you are GONE. =D
coming to poly made me realised that everythings depends on own
initiative. and INTERNET is impt. once internet is down. i will be outdated of the stuffs. everything is posted online. the notes, the annoucements, the updates, the homeworks, deadlines, project. simply everything is posted online. and it is really demanding i wud say.
i rmb that i wasn't used it the first few weeks. and i skipped many assignments and gotten so panicky. i even submited some of the things to the wrong lecturers and share my files with the wrong class.
there is no reminder that the assignments are due or there is assignments waiting. everything is up to own INITIATIVES. as such. i felt that many tried to give invalid excuses that they did not see it so as to hide their own responsibilities.
i did not know if i shud that i am lucky or unfortunate in be that class. i faced high COMPETITIONS. and i wud say that i felt inferior. some are previously from JC, and many scored less than 10 points to enter the course. not saying that there is people that scored 6 points for L1R5.
i felt scared. really scared. they skipped lectures and do tutorials qtns on the spot in tutorials. to them, everything seems so easy.
whereas, for me. i will have to read thru the lecture notes every morning on my way to school. faithfully doing every single tutorial qtns, stay back to ask qtns after classes. and yet, my understanding is still shallow.
thrown into class with tutors that is sarcastic, straightforward and unhelpful sometimes makes me really upset. i felt that i need to help myself. cos no one will help mi unless i make the extra effort to prove that i can do it as well as others can.
perhaps. it's not only competitive. it's also about comparison. everyone tend to compare who is better and who has more brains. and the fact is that my class have the highest avg for modules like miec, and i think that perhaps we are ' best' class. there is simply no slacking allowed.
for example. microeconomics. a test which has the total of 50. 40 is considers a AD( A distinction) our class will score a high 39.7. which means that everyone is ard AD standard. and if ya ask ard.. everyone will score around there (A) with a minority of those that scored very badly pulling the avg down. so you tell me how to slack?
when exams are coming, it gets real scary. my classmates will be in school every single day from morning to nite to study and discuss their uncertainties. everyone mugging so hard. shutting themselves away from all distractions. endless overnites at mac to study. and on the day itself. everyone seems so confident. how to slack? LOL.
i wud say i had toned down alot since the starting of the semester. no longer that outspoken and sociable. you will hardly hear my voice in class and i will just sit at one corner. tutor will often prompt me to answer qtns to make sure i'm still there and qtn my existance. everyone is so eager to lead and to speak and to be the centre of attention. perhaps. my classmates will not have notice me at all. but i wasn't affected at all. i rather be a follower now.
and my tutor criticized and pointed out my errors in presentations infront of the whole combined class. this made me even more intimidated and inferior. i did thot that i am good at presentations and talking. yet. she put my so low and i felt that i am nothing at all.
but i am still as commanding in group as i demand the best effort put in. and i admit being rather harsh on my group members. cos there ought to have FREE RIDERS in the grp taking advantage. there is people that aim to just pass while i wanted the best out of everything. thus, i came to a conclusion that watever that dun wan to do. i will do. no point nagging and pushing as it only makes mi look bad. thus, i loaded myself with works and do every project seriously. from the skeletons to the research to the rephrase and editing. slack? THINK AGAIN.
in poly. teacher has access to each and every student's informations. from the 'o' level scores to the choices to the house you live to the income to simply everything. and tutors do comparing. and discriminations are rampant. tutors judge you by your results there and favourtise i guess.
words can be as harsh as ' i am sure you wun do well. see you again next semester' ( repeat modules)
and people will call you 'AD' when you score very well.
i din like the fact that they call me 'AD' for the particular module cos i scored the highest for common test. and people thinking that i am the tutor's pet ( they may not meant they way. but i did feel sad about it.) cos he will call me out to talk during lectures, ask mi go thru papers with them, lead the tutorial discussions. and even call me up on the exam days. perhaps. as i said. i just wan to be a normal student. there is nth amazing about me any way.
while other tutors will pin point me for no particular reasons. i hate all this. seriously. can't all of them just be FAIR to everyone.
i learnt that the impt thing is - not to judge the book by its cover.
friend is friend. yet comes to work. sumtimes have to differentiate. call me selfish. but sumtimes it's difficult to decide if i shud choose frens or work first. and it's difficult to reject a fren's request to be in the same grp yet you noe that they will not do any work.
they may look as if they are hardworking. but comes to work. they take advantage to slack and leave everything to you. people like me will just do and do cos i just wan to do well.
BONDING seems difficult. am i right to say that we took quite long to be this close. 2 yrs tgt that came this close.
i am fortunate to be in this class that is quite bonded. majority are bonded i guess. we go outings and have every meals tgt. we are the noisiest class ever and we do stupid things tgt. like to stand in a row and make 'london bridge' and make sure the tutor bend and walk under our hands before entering the classrooms. we talk about ghost in class and refuses to get back to the main topic. we eat tgt and even join the same CCA tgt. study tgt. stay thruout the paper tgt and was commented ' the more lou soh(naggy) class' even jammed the toilets tgt.
lookin at others classes who bearly know each other names. i learnt to be grateful for the time being. perhaps. it's only 4 months tgt and we are able be like that. i guess. it's a gd achievement.
Business courses in NP gets to select their own time table.
so, we change class EVERY SEMESTER. 6 times in whole. so guess. we will not be in the same class any more. at else. not the same tutorial classes.
just chose timetable today. the systems is so fast that is more than we imagine. just 1 secs and the timeslot if gone.
many given up a gd time table. compromising into a very ugly timetable which ends very late. to be in the same class. while i chose to be in a gd timetable and will combine with them once a week.
i din know if i made the right decision though. frens VS gd timing? which of it will you choose?
being a NP-er also gives me risks of getting HEART ATTACK. it's so gan jiong ( anxious) when comes to choosing tings. like choose time table. LOL. split seconds and all the classes are taken up. and SMS for results arrive as early as 8:33am.
i admit feeling demoralised looking at others ppl's result and being criticized. i felt that i am lousy and inferior there. i wasn't the best and will never be the best ever. many JC ppl and ppl that are so smart. poly is also competitive. now you nid to fight to be the very very top.
to those that is working part-time. dun let ur work make you put studies second. if ya wanna work, then ya must show that ya can study as well. i proved that. did you?
pepo. you may not have scored well this sem. dun be upset. it's time to get over and done with the emotionally upheaval and start to PULL UP UR SOCKS! study hard. it's hard to adapt to the system and the modules are foreign i noe. influence and environment is jus not right to study. but den .. again. i guess. we may not be the best. yet. we shud at least try our best and be accountable to ourselves right. xD
come on! it's time to share. i have started the ball rolling..
-Sze Hui
© MSL 4m1`2006
